Today, for the first time - I heard a friend use the word hospice with regard to his own parent's care. A friend younger than me, someone who supported me during my own loss is now experiencing the same grief I did just 17 months ago.
And as I asked about his parent's wants, needs, and wishes - I realized I had no idea what to do or say. Me - who has just been there so very recently was completely incapable of doing ANYTHING. Because really, it won't matter what I do or say - he will bury his father decades earlier than he should. He will miss important moments and little ones, and there will be more "I wishes" than he could imagine in the days, weeks, and years to come. There are thousands of things I wish I could do - but I'm going to do those that I would have most appreciated myself when I was in the same place.
I'm going to tackle the silly work related projects, because those are the things he doesn't need to worry about. I'm going to fill his own freezer with things that can be microwaved - for the nights that making real food is just too hard. I'll text him every day just to say hi - not to ask questions or need answers, just so he knows I care. And I'll try to keep it together, at least in front of him.
For those of you that supported me, thank you once again. I'm not really sure that I comprehended how difficult this journey is when you are the one doing the supporting. I am still at a loss for words some days and I know I'll never truly repay all the favors I owe - but I am here, in any way and every way you could ever need.
This touched my heart.
ReplyDeleteI lost my grandfather in 2009 and it was a long battle that ended with hospice. When you hear the word you know it's just a downhill fight that no body can win, but you want to keep fighting anyway. I applaud your love and eagerness to help him, you are SO amazing for that.
I am thinking of your friend, and you.