Mom; Part Two

Here is part two (of three) of Mom's Cancer story.  This is the speech that I presented for Lung Force - a campaign started on May 12th by the American Lung Association to bring awareness, recognition, and support to Lung Disease.  I've made a few tweaks, but hope you'll appreciate the message. 

I hope this goes without saying, but please recognize how difficult it was for me to write and then publicize this.  Any harsh words or criticism will be removed to protect my family and I.  

You can find Part One here. 

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Inevitably, her hair started to fall out.  I think that was harder on me than it was on Mom.  Ever the planner, she had already chosen and ordered her wig – cute, red, and short just like her natural hair.  She scheduled an appointment with our hairdresser, had her head shaved and the wig styled to match her usual hair cut.  She left work on Friday with her natural hair and returned Monday with a wig – not that you’d know it by looking at her.  I will never forget how excited she was to call me Monday night – someone at work didn’t know it was a wig and commented to Mom how much they loved her highlights!! 

Through another round of chemo, she worked full-time, we spent our every other Fridays together, and things seemed mostly status quo:  Some tumors were shrinking, others stayed the same, but none were getting larger – and that was a victory for us!  However, in her June CAT scan, we saw that some tumors had actually grown, and that a new tumor was showing in her hip.  Over the next 12 weeks, this tumor would continue to grow, pressing on her sciatic nerve and compromising her quality of life.   

It was like a stranger had taken the place of the energetic, vivacious, personality filled woman we knew and loved.  August 24^th began a new round of chemo, what we were told were more potent drugs and that things would likely get worse before they got better.  I had no idea just how bad they were about to me.  This chemo took a great toll on Mom’s body, already compromised by the tumors, and now I truly felt like she was a cancer patient.  The months preceding this treatment were time consuming and stressful, but this was emotionally and physically exhausting for our entire family.   

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(Part 3 to come) 

Mom; Part One

Here is part one (of three) of Mom's Cancer story.  This is the speech that I presented for Lung Force - a campaign started on May 12th by the American Lung Association to bring awareness, recognition, and support to Lung Disease.  I've made a few tweaks, but hope you'll appreciate the message. 

I hope this goes without saying, but please recognize how difficult it was for me to write and then publicize this.  Any harsh words or criticism will be removed to protect my family and I.  

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Every five minutes, a woman in the United States is diagnosed with Lung Cancer. 

On August 30^th, 2011 at 4:00pm, that woman was my mom, Debbie.

My name is Jessica and I’m here tonight to tell you about my late mother, her one year battle with lung cancer, and how it has affected my life.  This photo is of our last family vacation, in Bar Harbor Maine, taken just 6 weeks before her diagnosis.  We spent 10 days hiking, boating, relaxing in Maine – and it was wonderful to spend time together as a family.  I had no idea it would be the last trip we would take together - or the last time I would feel unbridled joy.  Mom was a little short of breath and coughing a bit, but we thought maybe mom had bronchitis, or pneumonia, and it wasn’t a huge concern – who wouldn’t be short of breath and coughing at 60 years old after an 8 mile hike!   

We came home, and began to see doctors about her symptoms.  Following a lung biopsy and meeting with an oncologist, Mom was diagnosed with Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer.  I was shocked, mad, sad, and frustrated.  These emotions & many others were overwhelming as we called those we loved the most to tell them about her diagnosis.  The most difficult call was to my brother, Christopher, who was deployed with the US Army to Korea for 18 months.  I could hear his heart break through the phone, and had none of the answers he needed.  I googled my heart out – stunned to find that her five year survival estimate was less than 20% - she wouldn’t see me turn 30, she wouldn’t see my brother get married, how was this possible?! How did someone who yes, was a casual smoker in her 20’s and 30’s get Lung Cancer!  She exercised 30 minutes a day, ate chicken and carrots for lunch, and was in wonderful health her entire life.  She was a 60 year old woman, who was in better shape than lots of 30 year olds I know – this would benefit her in the weeks and months to come.  

Like most cancer patients, once we got over the shock of her diagnosis, it was time to form a plan – and that plan involved chemotherapy.  Dad took her to so many doctors’ appointments he had his own notebook with names, terms, and questions to ask.   The more challenging aspect of the diagnosis and treatment was understanding the words, phrases, and medical jargon that these doctors tossed our way.  It made it hard to form coherent thoughts at times, especially as Mom was accepted into a medical study.  This meant rather than just a regular drug, she was going to get a trial drug – results unknown.  Her first round of chemo was every other Friday for 12 weeks, and I took her to (almost) every session.  Mom was a little lady, and there is no way she was safe to drive before or after chemo.  Although that didn’t have anything to do with the chemo itself, it was the Benadryl that made her loopy, silly, and a general good time!  But we made the most out of those  8 hour sessions – we Christmas shopped online, made photo books for gifts, and watched movies.  I guess you’re supposed to be quiet in the treatment area, but Mom & I must have missed that memo – we laughed, got scolded, and laughed some more.  While Chris was home over Christmas Block Leave, he took Mom to chemo – and she asked him to go in his full Army dress uniform.  She had talked and talked to the nurses about how proud she was, and she made the most of her time to show him off.  So there he sat for 8 hours, all dressed up, spending some quality time with Mom.  No way was cancer going to keep Mom down – with the exception of those chemo sessions, she worked full-time through treatment.  

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(Part 2 to come) 

TWO CLIMBS - 2014!

No, your eyes are not broken - that title says we are doing TWO CLIMBS IN 2014! 

Thanks to the generosity of a wonderful friend (THANKS HOLLY), Team For Little Debbie will be participating in not only the Philly Fight For Air Climb, but also the Hershey Fight For Air Climb this year.  I am so excited to get to share our story and journey and be part of this amazing fight.  Here's a date recap for those of you trying to keep tabs on us! 

Saturday, February 22nd - Last day to order t-shirts

(see Jess for the order form)

Saturday, March 29th - Philly Fight For Air Climb

(also last day to make donations) 

Sunday, April 27th - Hershey Fight For Air Climb 

(climbing with the FIAT team)

There may be some other fun thrown in there as well, but I am going to say that the first four months of this year will be incredibly exciting and I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for us! 

Snow Day Entertainment

While I may be at work today, I know lots of people are home, snowed in.  I decided to help entertain people and keep you occupied - ya know, for your own good.  So here goes: 

1.  Make a donation to the Philly Fight for Air Climb!  Pick any member of Team For Little Debbie (link here).  If you need a reason to donate, please see this, this, or this.  

2.  Order a For Little Debbie t-shirt!!! This is a small fundraiser, but I'm hoping that each member of our team, plus 40 more people will all be sporting our For LD shirts in 44 days.  Short Sleeve are $14 and Long Sleeve are $18.  You can find the order form here. 

3. Thank a soldier.  I'm not picky about organizations, branches of the military, or how you say thanks.  Just Do It.  

4.  Help us decide what kind of car Kevin should buy.  Extra bonus points for ridiculous items such as 'short enough Jessica can reach the roof' OR comes in the same two tone paint job as Emma Jean.  What's that, you don't know who Emma Jean is? Okay, I'll blog about that someday too! 

5.  Guess what church I grew up in.  I'll give you one clue:  my boss is wrong, and try as he might, I will not admit to being Amish.  

6.  Google 'Surprise Military Homecomings' and try to tell me they aren't the most emotional, amazing videos on the internet.  

7.  Go play in the snow... 

48 Hours Until Relay for Life

I am nervous for Saturday.  There, I said it.  With the Fight for Air Climb, I had my whole family surrounding me - and some joining in the fun.  Saturday, it will just be me for much of the day, as my incredible family has other places to be.  I'll be honoring Mom while Kevin honors the anniversary of his grandfather's passing with his family.  And the Bookheimer men (and my dad) will be honoring the ever amazing Maynard Rothenberger at his services.  Each and every one of us will be honoring and supporting a wonderful person, just not together in person.  

It is going to be a hot one on Saturday, and I'm channeling my race track/running track self to get prepared.  I've got Gatorade, Sunscreen, and sneakers ready to go.  The rest of it we'll be playing by ear - since I'm a rookie at this.  

 

Thank you to all of you that have supported me thus far - and thank you to those that continue to support.  My poor new house will have to wait for another week to really look like home, but I know Mom will understand why the mountain of laundry is a mile high and the garage looks like some hoarders live there.  If you are still interested in donating, please use the link below (or on the right side of the blog site), and know that I appreciate all you have done for me, for our family, and for the fight against cancer! 

For Little Debbie - Relay For Life Sponsor Link

Love,
Jess

Letters to my 8, 10, and 16 year old Self

There is no end to the things I have learned about myself, my family, and life in the last two years.  But really, there are a few things I wish younger me had known - so here goes nothing. 

Dear Eight Year Old Self - That bratty kid with the dog bite, you probably should not throw Trouble at him.  I know he deserved it, and Mom/Dad are acting like he got half his face bitten off - but seriously, he did.  Someday when you're a grown up, you'll look at those scars on his face and remember the most frightening car ride of your life - the one where no one was allowed to stop singing, and keeping Chris awake was the most important mission of your life. Enjoy the fact that Mom is going to let you eat Mickey Popsicles for dinner and have Kool Aid before bed.  

 Dear Ten Year Old Self - I know you are incredibly sick of having "gym head" and that one more all day wrestling tournament may make you lose your mind.  Those gyms stink, the mornings are early, and for the love of god you'd like to eat a donut! But pay attention to the scoring, the refs, and the smiles on parentals/kids faces! When Christopher is rocking the STATE of Pennsylvania in High School, you'll be really glad you can keep score, know exactly what needs to be done to win/tie/score ride time or a stalling penalty! You are however allowed to smack him around a little when he is being a moron about losing - and then walk away.  Yep, Mom is right on this one - let him fume under the bleachers, he'll be just fine and you know he and dad are going to take over the living room anyway to reenact whatever he did wrong. 

Dear Sixteen Year Old Self - You are partially correct in that Chris's main use in life is to clean the snow and ice off the Camry before you leave for school in the morning.  And correct that his major malfunction is thinking that he is the boss of anything (kidding). Do yourself a favor, enjoy your 15 minute jam session on the way to school - there are a finite number of days you'll be able to do this.  Try not to be mad when Mom and Dad have to flip a coin for Saturday sporting events, they find it just as hard as you do.  Also, embrace your mandated bedtime - you, mom, dad, and Chris will all be a hell of a lot happier when everyone has slept before a long day.  *For you and boy wonder, this does mean that you need to stop reading under the covers.  The books can wait, and will still be there in the morning.*

I would write a letter to 18/19/20 year old self but that is called living - and would be more of a book than a blog post.  What are your lessons/letters to your younger self?

We Survived! Fight for Air Climb Recap

First - let me apologize for the seriously belated update on the Fight for Air Climb from March 23rd.  It was an amazing day, reaffirmed the support of amazing family, and empowered me to continue the fight! There were more than 500 people that participated, and with 5 of us on team For Little Debbie - we raised just $5 short of $3,000 for our team!

 The current total raised for the whole event is more than $163,000! 

For anyone who is interested in the timed results (it is a "competition" while being a fundraiser), the full results can be found here - Fight For Air Climb Results Philly 2013. 

Considering the incredibly early morning to get into the city by 7am, we had a great turn-out for our little team! Obvious early risers were Terry, Titus, Tweet, Kevin, and myself since we were running.  Tommy and Fred also came down - and those of you that know Jon will be shocked to hear that he was EARLY and at Terry's before 6am! 

The event began with speakers, then the Century Climbers (those of us crazy enough to do the 50 flights twice), then traditional climbers, and First Responders. Titus and Kevin rocked the first set of stairs in less than 10 minutes, while it took me a little closer to 13.  The second flight Kevin and Titus tried to stay with me, but still finished about 2 minutes ahead.  Terry and Tweet did amazing on their trip up the 50 flights of stairs and did the whole thing together! They finished 4th and 8th in their age groups respectively - HECK YES! 

 I will have more pictures as I get dad's, but here are some of my favorites courtesy of my phone. I think the shot down to the Art Museum is my favorite! 

Thank you again for all of your emotional, financial, and continued support! Get ready for the final push as we great ready for Relay for Life on June 1st!

Fight for Air - Introduction & Information

Today I have a super duper important meeting to attend in Philadelphia after work.  That meeting is for the Team Captains for the Fight for Air Climb Philadelphia 2013.  I am nervous about meeting other team captains, since our team is just Kevin and I - but I know we have as much heart as any 10 person team! I've included some information below to clue you in about the Climb, and have a post in the works for our basic training program and how we're getting our butts in shape for this adventure!

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Kevin and I are excited to have signed up for the American Lung Associate Fight for Air Climb in Philadelphia.  The climb is on March 23rd, which thankfully gives us plenty of time to train and fund-raise!

Who: Team Little Debbie, which is currently made up of just Kevin & I (and anyone else who would like to join).  

Plus or minus 1000 other participants.

What: Philadelphia 2013 Fight for Air Climb -

Century Climb (This means we are doing the full climb TWICE) 

A total of 100 flights/2176 Steps

When: March 23, 2013 at 8:30AM until we finish or fall over

Where: Three Logan Square, Philadelphia
AKA -------> That building

 

 Why: Lung cancer is the leading cancer killer in both men and women, responsible for more deaths than breast, ovarian, cervical and prostate cancers combined!  Each year, about 160,000 people die from lung cancer in the U.S., accounting for more than one in four cancer deaths. Also for those suffering from asthma, emphysema, and COPD.



How: We are now officially registered, and are responsible for raising $100 each.  Our goal is to raise $500 each, which seems like a large amount of money, until you consider that is less than $7/day from now until March 23rd.

You had to have known that this part was coming, so please forgive me for asking.  For those of you that knew my Mom, I hope you will consider making a small donation in her memory.  Won't you help us make an impact in Debbie's name and help motivate Kevin and I?  I will not recount all of the wonderful things that the American Lung Association does, but please visit their website if you have any questions, concerns, or just want to learn more about this organization.   
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 In case you missed the 42 links included in the post - our team page can be found on the For Little Debbie blog or here - http://action.lung.org/goto/forlittledebbie

Support: 10 feet High

I could have easily told you 27 years ago that my parents had amazing friends.  Well, except I was a year old and obviously could not speak. But seriously, these people are amazing and have been the most supportive group for my entire life. 

I could not say thank you enough for the last 6 months, as day after day these people called, emailed, baked, held hands, and were extra wonderful.  But even I was amazed in November when these men pulled through to replace the shingles on dad's shop roof.  This roof had seen better days both in terms of shingles and plywood underneath and if you know my dad, you know how important the contents of the shop are to him (especially Emma Jean!). Not only did we have manual labor, we had 4 wheelbarrows, a dumpster delivery, and more materials than we needed.  Add in Dunkin' coffee and donut holes, and maybe a few adult beverages, and there were quite a few laughs to be had along with all of the work! 

Also, I think it is important to note that we started about 9am pulling shingles off the roof and were cleaned-up with materials in trucks by 1pm.  Yes, 4 hours to do this HUGE roof - 

Just a few more pictures to remind everyone how hard they worked. I do want to take a minute to thank Richard, Tommy, and Scott as they provided so much support in terms of materials and equipment - without them there would have been no way to complete this project.  If I haven't said it enough, allow me to say THANK YOU again. With tears, love, and more emotion than I can convey, I want all 14 of you to know how much it meant to me to see you all there supporting Dad. 

Thank you again for all of your support, no matter how you showed your love. Physical, emotional, FOOD, financial, it all means more than I can say.

Love, 

Jessi

Changes to the Schedule

As much as I hate to write this, I am going to have to change the schedule for 2013.  I am so thankful to have had Boy Wonder home, but scheduling got away from me.  Unfortunately, there were scheduling conflicts with some of my favorite people, and I am going to move Gone With the Wind to April. 

Those of you that are interested in seeing Gone With the Wind with us, please email me (Jessica dot Gehman at Gmail dot com) and I will keep a list.  I hope to send out an email at the beginning of February with available dates and then we can identify any scheduling conflicts and move forward. 

That being said, I am prepared to tackle my stitching project in January.  Yes, I am giving myself 17 days to complete one of the below projects.  Any opinions or suggestions regarding either of these? I'll be hitting up Joanne fabric and Michael's after work on Wednesday to make my choice. 

Thanks so much for all of your support! I have a few fun posts coming in the next week, so keep your eye out for some more updates! 

Love, 

Jessi

Holiday Distraction, and My Apologies

Ladies and Gents - 

I wanted to take a quick moment and apologize for the lack of posting these past 10 days.  I know there are always tons of excuses, but I promise I have a good one. Those of you that know my family obviously know that Christopher (little brother) will deploy in January for Afghanistan.  Those are incredibly hard words to type or say, and my heart aches at the thought of saying goodbye.  BUT - He is home, in the 610, for 21 days.  Those 21 days have been my Christmas Insanity Motivation and with the exception of 2 gifts that UPS is holding hostage, I am done Christmas shopping.  I set a goal way back before Halloween that I would spend every available moment with Chris while he was home, and not in lines or fighting traffic at the mall. Being without Deb and Mary Elyn this Christmas is providing challenges I never knew we'd have to face. Tomorrow I take my dad's house hostage as he has absolutely zero Christmas decorations and the Christmas tree is still on the back porch, waiting for the stand, lights, and decorations. I hope a little Christmas cheer can find it's way into the Moyer household tomorrow and make the heart ache a little easier.

I hope you'll forgive what will likely be light posting over the next 18 days, and I'll catch back up just as soon as I can. I haven't forgotten about Gone With the Wind, but am trying to find a venue that is convenient and casual and will allow the most people possible to participate.  

As a thank you for hanging in there, here is my favorite family shot from Christmas a few years ago: 

Love, Jessi

Schedule of Events

I know that there is no way to replace such a wonderful lady, but after much planning I am hopeful that we will be able to join together during 2013 and honor the memory Little Debbie has left behind.  The legacy of Mom, Mary, and Mary Elyn is one I am proud to call my own.  I will never do Christmas as well as ME, top Mary’s ironstone collection, or stitch with the likes of mom, but I will maintain my membership at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, visit the Christmas display at Longwood Gardens, and serve multi-course dinners with wine and too many dishes.

Here is my tentative schedule for 2013.  I am hopeful that your feedback will help me expand on the details, and that this blog will give me one place to keep our friends and family posted. As always, please call, text, or email anytime! (Jessica.Gehman@gmail.com)

January - Dinner, Wine, and Gone with the Wind

February - Schwenkfelder Heritage & Library Center

March - Fight for Air Climb (Philadelphia, March 23rd)

April - Stitching lessons & my first sampler

May - Bucks County Designer Showhouse (and lunch!)

June - Relay for Life Exeter (June 1st)

July - Hiking Ricketts Glen waterfalls

August - Wine Dinner

September - Frisbee Lessons & Frisbee Golf

October - Philadelphia Museum of Art (and lunch!)

November - Nemours Mansion & Gardens

December (2012 & 2013) - Lights at Longwood Gardens

This is the first time I've opened the listing up to more than just Kevin, and I am very excited for some feedback!

Thank You & Welcome

First and foremost, allow me to thank you for your interest in Little Debbie.  In a few short weeks this project has gone through many phases, many names, but the aspect that has never waivered is my goal.  My goal of keeping my mom's memory alive, my bonds with her friends strong, and making an impact on the Cancer & Lung Cancer communities.

I have decided to chose a specific event, projector, or goal for each month of 2013.  Over the next several days, I hope to introduce you all to a schedule of sorts for these events, some of which are very specific (Lung Cancer and Relay Events), some ofo which are general dates (Dinner and Philadelphia Museum of Art), and some of which are just for me (my first cross stitch project).

Please consider joining me on one or all twelve of the adventures I have planned for 2013.  I am so excited to celebrate the life of LD with so many of the people most important to her.  I am as guilty as anyone else of letting life get away from me and want each and every one of you to know that you mean the world to me.  I welcome your feedback, invite you to participate in any and all events, and thank you for loving my Mom.

*Please notice there are donation links set up on the right sidebar which will take you directly to donation pages for the Fight for Air Climb (March's Event) and Relay for Life (June's Event).  I will discuss these in further detail soon, but wanted to post the links for anyone interested in joining our team or donating for March or making a donation in my name for June.

Love,
Jess